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Harry dreamt that when it was Snape's time to torture him, he had sex with him in the middle of the throne room instead. It was really good and Harry had to pretend it hurt so Voldemort wouldn’t get mad and Crucio them both.

Snape whispered, "Don't let him know you like it, or I will never have sex with you again."

"I won't. I won't," promised Harry as he raised his arse so Snape could go deeper.

Harry woke with a raging hard-on. He was a freak. What the hell had he done the night before? He grabbed his pillow and put it over his face. Now he would have to have sex with Snape again! He blamed Snape. If he hadn’t given Harry that drug then he wouldn't have said and did such freaky things. He couldn't tell Snape that he blamed him though, or they would have to have sex without the potion and Harry knew he could never do that. At least with the drug he enjoyed it. He felt his face heat under the pillow and he pressed the cloth down tighter. He wasn't gay. He wasn't. He only enjoyed it because of that horrible drug. He was very straight and only had strange sex dreams because he had been given abnormal potions.

Satisfied that his heterosexuality was safe, Harry got up to use the toilet. As he set the pillow to the side, he wondered when he had got a new one. Had Snape switched it for him? The Death Eater was stealthy. Maybe he'd teach Harry how to walk around without making any noise if Harry trained well today. Now that the high of the sex orgasm had worn off, Harry no longer felt happy like he had the night before, but he didn't feel as depressed as he had the previous day.

He pulled out Dracula from under his mattress. He would try to get a hold of Frankenstein now that he was almost finished with Dracula. He wasn't sure yet how to pull it off, but he needed to somehow get himself alone in the library for a few seconds. He was still planning when Snape arrived to conjure breakfast.

Joining Snape at the table, Harry could feel the black eyes boring into him and he suspected Snape was wondering why he wasn't angry about being forced to perform a second time.

After a bit, Snape finally spoke, saying, "I have potions to brew so I won’t be able to train you all day. I noticed that you are almost finished with Dracula. Is there another book you wish to read?"

Harry wanted to request Frankenstein, but that would probably result in the book's disappearance so he asked, "Can I go into the library and look at the titles?"

Snape nodded. "You may, but you are only permitted Muggle books. I'll let you pick out a title after your training."

"That's fine." Harry hid his excitement, trying not to appear overeager at the chance to go into the library. He could barely finish his breakfast in his excitement. Snape quietly drank his tea, looking very displeased. Why Snape was so annoyed with being forced to do it a second time? Harry was inexperienced, sure, but he doubted he was horrible in bed. It wasn't like there was anything for him to do other than take it anyway. Perhaps Snape's discomfort was due to how masculine Harry was. Maybe he was having trouble keeping his mind on women. That thought cheered Harry up and he was eager to practise again by the time they stepped out of the cell. Snape led him up to the practice room, which was empty except for the balls.

Harry hurried out to the centre and was ready when the first three zoomed at him. He had seen the book on top of the high bookshelf when they passed through the library. He'd find another book the same size and shape as Frankenstein. Then, he'd do some sort of distraction and switch the books. He'd take a larger book and hide Frankenstein underneath it. The only problem was figuring out what sort of distraction he'd cause. He reckoned that he'd need to be in the library several times before Snape relaxed around him. If only he had his magic! He'd be able to get that book for sure.

He was so busy focused on Frankenstein, that he had forgotten to pay attention to the balls, and when he realised he was easily evading six, he almost fell over. One hit him and Snape stopped the exercise.

"What changed there?"

"I wasn't thinking about it at all and then I remembered what I was doing. I didn't know I was dodging six at once."

"Let's try again. I want you to focus on Quidditch, or something else completely different, until you reach your comfort zone. Once there, bring your concentration back to dodging. If you find yourself unable to dodge, then retreat back into your zone. Do this until you can evade the projectiles while completely conscious of your surroundings. You accomplished it before so it should not be too difficult."

Harry nodded to show he understood and walked back to the centre of the room. He started thinking of Ron and Hermione, but that was too painful so he thought of Quidditch as Snape had suggested. Pretending to chase an invisible, he followed its path around the room, weaving and dodging as he imagined it fluttering here and there. After a bit of that, he realised he was supposed to be concentrating on the room, so he imagined that the Snitch would periodically disappear and he'd have to search for it again, looking around the room as he did so. The imaginary Snitch stayed away for longer and longer until he no longer needed to picture it. Without needing to track the invisible Snitch, he stayed mostly in one place and deftly dodged all the projectiles sent at him.

After a bit, Snape sent the balls away. "Why did you stop moving around?"

"You always tell me to make small movements." Harry followed him out of the room.

"You should evade with small movements, but you will need to move around the room if you want the Death Eaters to accidentally kill each other. You were doing it perfectly before you stayed in the centre of the room." Snape led him into the library.

Harry pretended to casually examine the shelves as he searched for the book he needed. "I'll try to remember that next time."

"What were you imagining?" Snape sat down in one of the chairs and watched Harry.

"I was pretending to follow a Snitch." All these books were too big so he moved over to look on the other side of the room.

"The Dark Lord defeated through Quidditch skills.... I'm sure there are many wizards rolling in their graves right now," said Snape dryly.

"If it's a matter of Quidditch skills, Voldemort doesn't stand a chance. Death Eaters versus the Order in the biggest game ever played.... I think I could beat you with a team composed entirely of Weasleys and I."

"Me," said Snape instantly.

"You'd play on our team?" Harry asked him in confusion. He couldn't imagine Snape playing Quidditch.

"The proper grammar is 'Weasleys and me,' Potter," corrected Snape.

Harry was about to respond but then he saw the perfect book. The Fall of the House of Usher by Edgar Allen Poe. It was exactly the size and shape as Frankenstein and even had the same colours.

"Did Dracula whet your appetite for horror?"

"It's a horror book?" Harry put it back on the shelf. He doubted he'd be able to distract Snape's hawk gaze long enough to switch the books today. "I think I'd rather read something that's cheerful."

"Ordinarily I'd suggest a Shakespearian comedy but that is above your level."

Harry hated having limits placed upon him. "Let me try it."

"Accio, Midsummer's Night Dream," said Snape and a small book flew towards him. He led Harry to the bathroom but did not follow him in.

Since Snape wasn’t there, Harry decided to take a shower. Although still disappointed with his progress, he had improved from the day before. Training sessions were artificial so it was difficult for him to try to predict how he'd do if were to be brought before Voldemort. Harry liked to think that he would be able to successfully dodge everything thrown at him, but going up against trained killers was significantly different than going up against mindless projectiles.

When he joined Snape for dinner back in his cell, he said, "You should bring some Death Eaters to shoot at me and then Obliviate them afterwards so that I can practise dodging spells."

"Far too risky." Snape shook his head. "Contrary to common belief, Obliviation does not remove memories. The mind is not a scroll on which words can be written and removed with ease. No one has ever studied the scientific processes of how Obliviation works, but it does not remove memories; it merely covers up or diverts the neurons involved. This is why memory charms can be broken through and why Obliviated people will react subconsciously to events they don’t remember."

"How can they react to it if they don't remember it?" asked Harry.

"Muggles have found that memories are encoded in layers. Let's say I took you to the top of a tower and pushed you off. One set of cells would encode that specific event – being pushed off a tower. While others would encode on a more general level – the drop, your fear at falling, the dangers of being on a high tower in my proximity, and so on. If I Obliviated your memory of the event and took you on top of the tower again you would feel fear although you wouldn't understand why you were afraid. If I brought other Death Eaters in to train you and then Obliviated their memories, they would subconsciously remember your skill. Furthermore, memory charms can be broken through and removed by skilled wizards such as the Dark Lord."

"So if you completely Obliviated me, I'd still hate you and Voldemort and all the other Death Eaters?"

"Yes." Snape nodded. "You'd be fearful when you saw one although you wouldn't be able to say why."

"Bloody hell, that sounds horrific." Harry shivered.

"I hope to avoid it at all costs." Snape sent his empty mug away. "Are you finished with your meal?"

"Not yet." Harry ate the rest of his chicken. When he was finished, Snape cleared the dishes, placed the sex potion on the table, then moved to stand on the other side of the bars.

Harry quaffed it and climbed onto the bed, laying face down on the sheets after he’d undressed. Hopefully he wouldn't say or do anything embarrassing like he had done the night before. He waited for the potion to take effect but it didn't seem to be working as well as before, and he was still mostly lucid when Snape joined him on the bed. He stared at the wall, too embarrassed to look at the naked Death Eater.

"Lift your head," ordered Snape and Harry did so only to have Snape move a black cloth to his lips.

"Wha-" he started to say before Snape gagged him. He didn't like it and he wanted it removed but then Snape said, "This will keep you from talking," and Harry lowered his hand. He didn't want to embarrass himself further. His muscles were relaxed and his cock hard, but the desire to be touched was coming on slowly and not as strong as it normally did, so he remained on his stomach, pressed flat against the bed as he avoided looking at Snape and tried to make the potion hurry along.

Snape did not attempt to roll him over. Instead, he pulled him back onto his lap again. Harry awkwardly straddled Snape's legs. Snape was not as hard as he had been the night before and his cock rested on top of his closed thighs, pressing against Harry's balls. Harry was about to tell him that he was far too lucid to do this when Snape's fingers lightly stroked Harry's nipples. The potion must've kicked in just then because it felt really good and Harry moaned. He tried to press himself against Snape's fingers as they played him so perfectly, knowing just how to touch him to make his cock fill with excitement.

Harry melted back against Snape, letting himself fall into the pleasure offered by Snape's skilled hands. They roamed over his torso, finding other spots to stroke and caress, although none made him writhe and moan like having his cock or nipples touched did.

After teasing his chest and stomach until he was wet with anticipation, Snape's fingers slowly circled Harry's inner thighs. Harry wanted his cock touched so badly but Snape wouldn't give it to him yet, so he crawled forward off Snape's lap and lay on the bed before Snape with his legs spread. Hopefully, Snape would get the hint and he wouldn't have to take off his gag and say something embarrassing.

Snape did and soon Harry smelled strawberries. The spells were quickly cast and then Snape had two fingers inside of him, finding that perfect spot with each stroke. Harry thrust his hips back against the invading digits, rubbing himself against the sheets as he did so. He was close to blowing before long and he had to hold himself still so he wouldn't lose it on the sheets. He wanted to come with Snape inside of him so that he'd get the full force of the ecstasy of sex orgasms. He grabbed the pillow and placed it under his stomach, remembering how this position had frustrated him last time. If Snape took him as he had done the night before Harry knew he'd explode with pleasure at the first thrust.

Snape finally slid in, going ever so slowly as he opened Harry up. He held Harry's hips until Harry could feel his balls pressed against his own, then pale hands appeared on either side of his shoulders. As Snape started to thrust, Harry turned from the left arm, not wanting to see the Dark Mark while he was being fucked. Even with the angle wrong it was still good and Snape's slow, deep rocks built such pleasure in him that he soon needed to come or he would die of frustration. He wiggled around until he found a way to free his trapped penis and rub it against his pillow. It was just enough friction to give him what he needed and he screamed around the gag as he came, emptying himself completely on the sheets. Snape rocked into him faster and his breaths becoming shorter and shorter before his hips jerked and he came with what sounded like "fuck" spilling from his lips.

Harry had never heard Snape say a dirty word during sex before, and it amused him.

Carefully, Snape pulled out and lay on the bed beside Harry as he caught his breath. Rolling over, Harry pressed himself against Snape, laying his head on his chest. He loved the feel of flesh on flesh as Snape's warm heat seeped into his limbs. He could hear the heart beneath his ear pounding wildly in excitement. Snape untied the gag and then let one of his hands fall to rest on the small of Harry’s back.

Harry didn't feel as euphoric as he normally did for some reason, but it still felt very nice to lie in Snape's half embrace. Perhaps he had got used to sex orgasms now and that was why he didn't feel as ecstatic as he had those first few times.

Snape lay there until his heart beat returned to normal, then moved to leave after casting the cleaning spells, but Harry didn't want him to go. He thought quickly and said, "I forgot to put the lotion on my muscles after practice today. Can you help me with it? My body doesn’t want to move right now."

His plot worked because Snape paused in his dressing. "I will." He left and returned shortly with the vial and several towels. "Scoot over - we don't want any of the lotion to get on the sheets."

Sliding over, Harry helped him spread out the towels, lying on them face up. Snape's massaging strokes felt wonderful and Harry relaxed as the heavy caresses turned him to mush. He never wanted it to end, so he forced himself to be quiet so Snape wouldn't leave. He was hard again by the time Snape turned him over to rub the lotion into his back, but the potion took away any shame about being erect in front of Snape.

"That was good for Voldemort, right?" Part of him hoped it wasn't.

"Yes, it was fine. I might gag you more often so I don't have to hear your incessant babbling."

"I don’t talk that much," Harry protested.

"Yes, you do," insisted Snape. "Although I don't think you are aware of everything you say."

"What d'you mean?" Harry wished Snape hadn't passed so quickly over his arse.

Snape said stiffly, "For example, unless I am terribly mistaken, I don't believe that Miss Weasley is in possession of male genitalia."

"What?" Harry's face heated up and he covered his head with his pillow. How had Snape known about his dream? "What did I say?"

"The comment is not fit to repeat." Snape's hands moved quicker and Harry could tell he was embarrassed. Oh god, it was a good thing Snape had gagged him. Harry hated to think about what sort of crazy things he told Snape while in the middle of sex. It was all the fault of the drug. It was probably a good thing it didn't seem to work as well as it had before. Otherwise he'd be saying more strange things right now. Then again, it had been so slow to kick in this time that he worried he'd wouldn't be affected by it at all next time.

"You should give me more of that potion. It doesn't seem to work as well now." Harry placed the pillow back under his head and closed his eyes as Snape massaged the lotion into the back of one of his arms.

"I've been decreasing the dose to help ease you off of it. If the Dark Lord showed up in the middle of a session, we'd both be doomed."

Harry didn't want to admit that he had said those words on purpose so he continued pretending it was an accident. "But I need it! It almost didn't kick in this time and if it hadn't I wouldn’t have been able to do it. I can't do it without the potion.”

"You must find a way. Until Avery is dead or disabled, we must put on this show." Snape's hand movements became clinical and quick. "I assure you, I detest this just as much as you."

"Yeah, I know, I figured it all out earlier." Harry propped himself up on his elbows so Snape could better access his shoulders. "I know why you won't look me in the eyes during sex."

"What?" Snape's hands stilled.

"I know." Harry tried to get Snape to move his hands again. "I wish we could do it looking at each other because I feel better knowing that it's you and not some random Death Eater, but I understand why you don't want to."

Snape's fingers remained frozen. "I never wanted you to know," he said, his voice strange.

Harry frowned. He didn't see why Snape didn't want him to know. "I would prefer it if you were gay, but pretending I'm a girl is different than thinking I'm a girl or girl-like."

"What are you talking about?"

Harry pushed himself up into a sitting position, covering his cock, which had started to soften. "You like to face my back so you can pretend you are having sex with a woman. At first it made me angry because I don't want to be thought of as anything but a man but then I realised that it was okay as long as you don't think I am a girl."

Snape was quiet for a while before he said, "I don't think of you as a woman."

"That's good." Man, Snape was weird about sex. Why would he be disquieted by the fact that Harry realised that he was pretending to fuck a woman? Maybe he did hate having sex with Harry as much as Harry hated having sex with him. Harry doubted that though. The top position was probably a lot more fun than the bottom. "Are you going to finish my back?”

"Yes." Snape pulled himself together and returned to massaging the lotion into Harry's shoulders. His movements were very formal and he held himself stiffly as if afraid that Harry was going to suddenly try to bite off body parts. When he finished, he washed his hands in the sink. "Don't move or dress for at least fifteen minutes. Take the towels and place them on the floor. I will remove them when I return to provide you with dinner."

"Okay." Harry lay down on the bed again. He still felt relaxed and calm although the high had worn off much quicker this time. Maybe if he was very, very good Snape would give him a full dose the next time. He really wanted it. The euphoria the drug had given him those first few times was amazing and just what he needed to help him through his captivity. He wasn't sure he could function without it. He knew he needed at least some of the drug in his system before he could allow Snape to touch him. He definitely needed it to enjoy being touched by Snape.

Snape was strange when it came to sex. He obviously knew how to do it but he didn't like to talk about it with Harry and he seemed to hate it except when he was in the middle of it. Harry never thought that he'd be the one to try to trick Snape into having more sex with him, but it wasn't as if he wanted to have sex with Snape. He just wanted to have sex orgasms. It was the potion that made him agreeable to that particular type of sex and with Snape.

He couldn't wait to get out of this prison so he could have sex with Ginny. The only good thing about this whole sex with Snape business was that he knew how to have sex now. If he had attempted sex with Ginny before, he probably would've just touched her boobs and then tried to stick it in. Now he knew that you had to do fingers first and touch and kiss until the other person was ready. The men in the wizard porn pictures the boys passed around the tower had always just thrust inside, but Harry knew that it hurt to do it that way. Of course, he'd never tell Ginny how he knew about those things. She'd never stay with him if she knew, and he wouldn't blame her. He was good at hiding things and she wouldn't have to know. He'd kill Voldemort, Avery, and Snape so no one knew but him and he was good enough at Occlumency that no one would ever figure it out unless he wanted them to know. Feeling satisfied, he fell asleep.


He had a dream that he was free and lived with Snape and Ginny. Snape cooked their food while Harry and Ginny went to work as Aurors. Ginny refused to believe that Snape could cook and insisted that he ordered it all by post while they were gone.

"He can't cook!" she said while they ate a delicious casserole. "Everyone knows wizards don't know how to make food."

"He does and he taught me how to make bread."

"Even my mum buys bread at the store. No one makes it by hand - it's too difficult." She frowned at him.

"It's not hard. He showed me how and it's pretty easy." Harry jumped to his feet and pulled out the ingredients to make bread. He threw them all together and mixed them in a massive bowl. When everything was combined, he told Ginny, "Now we have to let it rise."

The bread began to rise but didn't stop. It grew massive and swallowed the entire table. Ginny screamed, "What did you do!?" as she tried to beat it back with her fists.

Snape arrived and vanished the entire mess. "You added too much yeast, Potter."

"Sorry," said Harry sheepishly.

"Now get out of my kitchen before I hex you both," he ordered and they fled into the practice room, which was now a nice den.

"I told you," Harry reminded her as they sat on the largest couch.

"Okay, okay, I believe you." She was snogging him and then he was caressing her breasts, and she was telling him he was so good at touching her.

"Yeah, Snape taught me how to do this too."

And then she was taking off her clothes and they were going to have sex when Snape opened the door, waking Harry up.

Snape stepped into the hallway and walked over to the bars. Harry groaned. He’d almost had a normal sex dream!

"It was just getting to the good part!" he complained to Snape.

"So I surmised," said Snape pointedly as he kept his face turned towards the table.

Harry realised he was naked with an erection. He quickly flipped a sheet over himself. "Where are my clothes?"

"On the floor by the foot of the bed," Snape responded as he left.

Harry found them and dressed quickly. He slid into his chair and attempted to read Midsummer's Night Dream while he ate his stew. It was above his reading level and he didn’t understand what the hell was going on. After several attempts, he just gave up and returned to Dracula. Now that it was nearing the end, he eagerly read until the heroes destroyed the foul vampire.

He wasn't tired by the time he finished Dracula so he stripped and exercised. He hadn't worked out on his own in at least a week, but was delighted to find that he had improved through the training. The first month or so in the prison had drained him but he had managed to regain ground, and unless he was mistaken, he thought he had more definition in his abdomen than he had ever had before. He didn't want to stress his muscles, so he stopped before he needed to rest. He gave himself a bath in the sink and then dressed for sleep.

Having the light on all the time annoyed him. He really wanted to be able to curl up in the dark. Maybe he could bring blankets in the cupboard and sleep there for a night or two.


"Get up, Potter. You won't sleep all day," Snape ordered, waking Harry from an instantly forgotten dream.

"Huh?" Harry rubbed his eyes.

"You will eat your breakfast and then train." Snape spelled food on the table and then strode away.

Harry sleepily slid out of bed and ate the typical breakfast fare. Snape had figured out what Harry preferred and served him eggs, kippers, bacon, sausage, toast, and fruit. Harry did not feel well rested at all. He reckoned he had spent most of the previous night reading and working out. He wanted to crawl back in bed and fall asleep, but Snape wouldn't train him if he did that.

After he finished his morning duties, he sat on the bed and tried to keep his eyes open. Snape appeared and shot something from the tip of his wand at Harry.

Harry yelped and fell off the bed. "What the hell was that?"

"I told you I'd randomly test your reflexes. What did I tell you about tight movements?"

"I was half asleep!" Harry protested.

"You should always be on guard. Undress and follow me if you wish to train today."

"Oh yeah." Harry stripped before following Snape upstairs. "You know how I asked you a while ago if I could see your owl? You said that you wanted to test my Occlumency and I've done really well with it, so could I see it now?"

Without looking at him, Snape said, "I wouldn’t be able to explain why the owl was in your vicinity if anyone arrived."

Harry felt crushed. How was he going to get his letter out without an owl? He made all his unhappiness show on his face. "I just want someone or something else to talk to besides you. Besides, you're smart, can't you figure something out?"

Appealing to Snape's vanity apparently worked because Snape said, "I will think about it," before he began the lesson.

Harry kept himself distracted by thinking about the owl and how his letter would get out, then Ron and Hermione would come rescue him. It worked and he was able to avoid being hit even when he brought his full attention back to the room before him. He tried approaching various parts of the walls, pretending that Death Eaters were standing there, trying to kill him. Snape only needed to pause the attack when it was time for their midday break.

Harry examined the ring Snape had. Despite being created with magic, it seemed as solid as real ones. He had just started tugging on the chain in earnest to try to pull the ring off the ground when Snape returned and he had to immediately pretend that he wasn't doing anything suspicious. The turkey sandwiches were made of the bread they had baked together earlier. Harry felt quite pleased when he tasted how delicious the slices were. After all, he had done most of the work. That dream he had had was stupid. He was sure he could make it again and make it right.

"We will begin the next stage now," Snape said before eating his own sandwich. Snape had never eaten in Harry's presence, and Harry watched him in fascination. Of course he knew Snape ate food – he had at Hogwarts meals - but Harry had never seen him eat food since he'd been captured even when they trained for most of the day.

Snape realised Harry was staring. "What's wrong?"

"You never eat!"

"Of course I do," said Snape scornfully. "I just normally have a large breakfast and dinner."

"Why don't you eat with me?"

"It would be a sign of equality if I shared meals with you," Snape pointed out. "I'd have to do something distasteful in case there should be any unexpected visits."

"Something distasteful?" Would Snape have to have sex with him while eating? He tried to picture it but couldn't.

"For example, I would have to make you eat out of a dog's bowl. Or feed you my scraps." Snape's scowl showed his disgust for both of those situations.

"Yeah." Harry returned to his sandwich. "I wouldn't like that. Is that why you make me eat lunch on the floor and conjure a table and chair for yourself even when you are just drinking tea?"

"Yes." Snape nodded.

"Oh, I thought you were just being a git."

"You assume that a lot." Snape sent the remains of his finished lunch away.

"Normally it's true!"

Snape ignored the retort. "As I was saying, we will now attempt to begin the next phase of your training. I will spell some balls to remain stationary along the walls in groups. You will try to get close to each one in turn while they randomly send projectiles at you. I will also join the others, and you will attempt to get close to me whilst I aim curses and hexes towards you."

"Nothing that hurts," Harry reminded him.

"No," agreed Snape as he cleared Harry's dishes and unchained him. Stepping to the edge of the room, he chanted as the balls separated into piles along the walls. As soon as he finished chanting, he shot a spell at Harry as each pile sent a ball towards him. Harry dodged the red shaft of light quickly. Concentrating on the spell instead of the rest of the balls almost made him get hit.

"Regard them all equally," Snape insisted as he and the fake Death Eaters continued to attack Harry. "Imagine you have a room full of Death Eaters against you."

"Okay, I'm going after Avery first." Harry imagined a black blob near the doorway was the most hated Death Eater and rushed it. He danced it front of it, imagining he was taunting Avery while the Death Eater tried to hex him. When Snape's spell disappeared straight into what would've been Avery's chest, he let out a whoop of delight. Confident that he had killed that Death Eater, he moved across the room towards Lucius who was the black blob against the right wall. It wasn't long before Snape's spell disappeared into his head and Harry moved again around the room. He took the Death Eaters out one by one. Finally, it was time to approach the most dangerous Death Eater of all.

Snape would be the hardest to get rid of and the one he most needed to after Avery. Getting in range of Snape was harder than getting close to the fake Death Eaters and it took him several attempts and near hits before he finally managed to get close enough that the balls headed towards Snape. Snape evaded the projectiles far too easily for Harry's tastes. Harry imagined he had a wand and pointed it straight at the Death Eater's chest.

"Closer," Snape ordered and Harry tried to do so, but was hit from behind with a ball. He pretended he wasn't and kept on his attack.

"Stop moving so much!"

"I'm not going to stand still and let you attack me," said Snape before he pretended to dodge right while really going left and managed to hit Harry in the chest. Harry felt a tingle and looked down to see a boil where Snape had hit him. It didn't hurt but the boil was nasty looking. Harry stopped to stare at it and was hit by several balls. Snape froze them.

"Shall we continue? I will remove them when you are finished."

"Them?" Harry crouched in preparation for another attack. "You won't hit me again!"

Snape began the exercise again. "We shall see about that."

Harry tried to get close enough to punch Snape, but the Death Eater was quite talented and he couldn’t step within five feet of Snape without having to dash away to avoid being hit. Harry charged Snape when Snape stuck out his arm and caught him.

"You must return to your cage, now."

Harry wanted to protest but Snape's voice was dangerous so he immediately turned and began walking back to his room. Snape grabbed his arm and hurried him along, nearly dragging him down the stairs. "Do not dress and hide the books under the mattress. He has arrived a day early, which isn't a good sign."

Harry knew 'he' meant Voldemort so he just nodded and did as Snape requested. Just in case, he decided to hide the clothes as well. Why had Voldemort showed up early? Did this mean he was going to be tortured now? The suspense of waiting for something to happen killed him, so he gave himself a bath in the sink to distract his racing mind.

Snape arrived shortly with his hair mussed and his face red. "Follow me."

If Snape had been tortured, what would they do to him? Clenching his damp palms, he gathered all his courage.

"The Dark Lord is very angry. You must bend like a tree in the wind for him. Do not enrage him," Snape warned as he pulled him up the stairs. Harry nodded and swallowed nervously. While the idea of Voldemort being pissed off made him happy because that probably meant that the Order had done something Harry would approve of, Voldemort was already a sadistic bastard when in a good.

Snape pulled Harry into the throne room where Voldemort stood alone on the dais, six Death Eaters cowering on the floor around him. Harry couldn't see their faces because they all had their heads pressed to the ground. Snape pushed him towards the centre, then moved back to bend down and hide his face as well, as if afraid Voldemort would cast on him again if he remained upright. Harry instantly dropped to his knees, bending his head like the Death Eaters in what he hoped was an appeasing gesture.

"I will give this boy a taste of what I will give each of you if you should ever fail me again like you have done tonight!" Voldemort screamed at them. "Crucio!"

Voldemort's Cruciatus was the most painful thing Harry had ever felt. His body jerked violently and he screamed with a voice he didn’t recognise as his own. Voldemort cast another and another until pain was all Harry knew. Just when he knew he’d die, his skin started burning. Then every bone broke. His skin fell away from his limbs. A thousand knives pierced him at once.

He couldn’t hold out. He couldn’t survive. He needed to make his Occlumency perfect, otherwise Voldemort would learn about the training. Retreating into his mind, he built up his walls. Inside his fortress, he ignored the destruction of his body. Although he knew he was being hurt; he no longer felt any pain at all. His body tried to slip away into unconsciousness but Voldemort always brought him back again and again until he had lost too much blood to sustain any form of wakefulness. Eventually, he fell into blissful sleep, his body finally as peaceful as his mind.

Chapter 1 ... 17 18 19 20


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 27th, 2007 06:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you! Now that the craziness of the holidays have passed, I hope to be able to update more regularly.
Dec. 27th, 2007 06:45 pm (UTC)
So,I was glad to see you updated. I am thoroughly sucked in. I'm just wondering about Harry's devotion to Ginny. Just a device to keep him from 'wanting' Snape, or real desire?

Waiting for more.
Dec. 27th, 2007 10:35 pm (UTC)
Harry does want Ginny. However, the impression I got from reading the books that it was more than just a crush. For one, Harry doesn't really know Ginny. I mean, they rarely talk, and although she was in his circle of friends, it didn't seem as though he cultivated a real friendship with her. Secondly, he broke it off with her when she and he started to become close. He was starting to rethink this, but I think he was allowing Ron to hold him back on purpose rather than genuinely was stopped by Ron.

I think that Harry picked Ginny to focus his attention on because of what she represents to him. She is a heteronormative, happy ending. By marrying her, he would gain an instant family, a family who has already sort of adopted him as their own.

A friend of mine pointed out that Harry and Ginny getting together would be quasi-incestuous. Harry looks so much like his father and Ginny is a spunky redhead like Harry's mother. It seems that Harry is trying to replicate his understanding of a "normal" family life through his attraction to Ginny.

This is not to say that Harry couldn't develop a loving, fullfilling relationship with Ginny, just that it wouldn't come naturally to him and he'd probably have to be helped through it. I think Ginny would be a good person to help guide Harry through a normal heterosexual relationship as, with 6 brothers, she is a tomboy and wouldn't expect as much as most girls would.

I think, at this point and in the 6th and 7th books, he is more infatuated with what Ginny represents rather than Ginny herself. But, as Snape says, when we try to analyze love too much we run the risk of dismissing it completely. So basically, the short answer is that Harry does love Ginny.
Dec. 28th, 2007 01:44 am (UTC)
Regarding Lily/James vs Ginny/Harry: that is EXACTLY what I said. I always thought it was so creepy! I did not go so far as to name it "quasi-incestuous" but that is actually the perfect term to describe my uneasiness with this couple.

But okay I've got it now. I just wanted some clarification.
Dec. 28th, 2007 02:15 am (UTC)
Yes, I do not like how it is set up in the books at all. I think Ginny could be fine for Harry because of his APD and he needs someone sort of agressive and dominant and someone he isn't afraid of losing. Both Ginny and Snape fit that criteria. So I am not against Harry and Ginny as a couple, per se. It is more, I think a lot of things need to happen before he stops thinking of her as a way to replicate his parents and start thinking of her as a partner in her own right.

I've thought a lot about this because I originally hated her as a character but as I started to write this story, I was thinking that we only see Harry's view of her and his view of her is very narrow as is his view of Snape. I was thinking of writing a separate Harry/Ginny fic but where Ginny is very dominant, even to the point of topping Harry sexually. I tried to find a fic of that nature, but it appears I'm the only one with that kink who writes HP fiction.
Dec. 28th, 2007 02:46 am (UTC)
I remember reading a fic that was based on Remus and Snape but included some references made by Remus about where he learned about some specific interesting techniques. Evidentally he was told by Draco, Harry and Ginny about what went on between them during certain encounters, and that it seemed it was like Ginny who was the aggressor in those circumstances. Because Snape in the fanfic makes a comment about "does her mother know what her daughter is getting up to?" And Remus replies that he would think so since Molly had seven children after all ;P
Dec. 28th, 2007 03:02 am (UTC)
Haha. I can completely see Ginny doing that. I have six brothers (although I am one of the eldest) and I've always been a tomboy and aggressive for a girl, both in bed and out. I'm probably one of the few writers of Slash who's been both top and bottom to males so I can write realistically. Too much slash is written by female virgins who obviously have no idea what the hell they are talking about.
Dec. 28th, 2007 03:06 am (UTC)
That's probably why I enjoy your fic so much :) It's much more balanced than a lot of the stuff I've read out there in fanfic land.
Dec. 28th, 2007 02:41 am (UTC)
I thought that about Ginny/Harry and Lily/James too. It seemed rather odd that they were so similar couples O.o
Dec. 28th, 2007 02:54 am (UTC)
I've always wondered what Canon Snape thought about that (if he even knew). I have the opinion he would encourage it because then Lily would live on further.
Dec. 28th, 2007 02:59 am (UTC)
I'm really loving this fanfic :) I look forward to every new chapter that comes out.

The dreams as one of the posters commented, are great and amusing. You write them exactly how some dreams can be, they can make sense but be completely senseless and the same time!

I'm also enjoying how you back up your stories with facts that you've found from different sources. Since I don't write fanfic, it amazes me the amount of research that some writers go through to write great fic :)

I for one can't wait to read when their relationship is finally consensual and Harry doesn't deny any more how he feels ^_^

Dec. 28th, 2007 03:08 am (UTC)
I'm a scientist so I love to do research. One thing I did for this fic was when I was trying to find the nearest bookstore to Privet Drive and if they would have porn books there. I used google maps to locate the nearest bookstore to that location and pursuaded one of my UK friends to call them up and ask if they had porn books so that I would know if Harry had access to some. It took quite some time to get her to do it.

I also did a poll of 20 straight males I knew to find out what the average straight guy's "blowjob ratio" is so that I could have a realistic one for Harry. I was surprised by how many males I knew who identified as straight admitted that, if stuck in prison with no females around, would agree to give head on a one-to-one basis with another guy.
Dec. 28th, 2007 03:21 am (UTC)
Haha, on the book store and your friend! ^_^ You are definitely thorough :D I love research too. I'm part of an HP community and we get sorted into Houses. I'm a definite Ravenclaw, so reading the info you come up with for your stories is very interesting.

It's amazing the stuff one can learn from fanfic. I didn't know that about guys. Something interesting to store away in my memory banks :)
Dec. 28th, 2007 03:33 am (UTC)
Yes, the mind of the human male wrapped up in modern, western culture is quite an interesting place. Fics where Harry and Snape fall all over themselves to express their love for each other and have long conversations about their feelings always crack me up.

I have straight male consultants I ask to read parts of mine or give me suggestions in order to make sure my story stays believable.

I'd be in Ravenclaw too.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )